It's been five years since Al and I last spent time in Squamish, eight since we made our first trip up and down the west side of North America, learning a lot about how we wanted our lives to be. For the past month we've been easing back into something similar, getting fitter, getting sun, getting clean with a swim rather than a shower. At first I was sad that my old self who got strong and brave and conent here seemed to have gone, or morhped into some one else - some one older, more cautious, podgier. It was sad because she was some one I've held onto and imagined being again over and over for all this time. It's taken some work to let go of who I was and what this place meant then. But the more I let go the closer I seem to get to her, and that old feeling of contentment swells.